The BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm) is a communication strategy that is applied in different situations, including during divorce. It was designed as a response technique for hostile communications to prevent arguments and stop misunderstandings from escalating.
Today, it’s widely used in all forms of divorce-related interactions to ensure conversations do not end up in unproductive back-and-forth and emotional volatility.
Brief
The B in the BIFF is an aspect that keeps communications concise. Your texts, emails or phone calls should be brief. Long conversations can increase the chances of misunderstanding. Brief conversations mean less content to misinterpret. It’s recommended to keep communications to one paragraph (two to five sentences).
Informative
The informative component of the BIFF method encourages focusing solely on factual and necessary information. Only provide accurate statements, not your personal feelings or opinions. If you are not sure about a matter, avoid communicating it until you have enough information.
Friendly
Even when it’s challenging, it’s critical to maintain a friendly tone when communicating with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. This allows you to remain polite and professional. Open the text or email with a greeting, acknowledge their input/how a situation can be frustrating and close with a “Best regards” or “Thank you.”
Firm
While it’s important to be friendly, ensure that you are firm. You can politely set clear boundaries. Not providing an opportunity for a back-and-forth helps maintain peace.
An example
“Hi [Name],
I am working on the required financial disclosure. Please provide the joint bank statements for [Period] by [Date and Time] so we can stay on schedule. I have attached copies of the documents you requested.
Thank you
[Your Name]”
The BIFF method, when used effectively and consistently, can help to facilitate a smooth divorce process. Obtain more information to avoid conflicts that can delay your process.