Never bring up the past in child custody mediation

On Behalf of | Sep 15, 2021 | Divorce Mediation |

Parents who are divorcing have to make decisions about several points while they’re legally ending the marriage. Because tensions are already high, it might be difficult to think about working with your ex to come up with an agreement regarding the children. 

Developing a parenting plan as soon as possible after you split up can help the children. Kids thrive on consistency, so the sooner they know the permanent plan, the faster they’ll be able to adjust. Focusing on the present and the child’s needs might make this easier. With very few exceptions, it’s best to leave the past alone as you negotiate with your ex. 

Why shouldn’t the past come into the child custody matters?

The children have to be the focus of the child custody matter. If you’re bringing up the factors that led to the dissolution of the marriage, then the focus shifts to you and your ex. 

You should only bring up the past in these cases if something directly impacts the child’s health or safety while they’re with your ex. This often occurs when one parent is physically abusive, but it might also happen if they have an addiction to drugs or alcohol. 

Ask yourself if the points you want to bring up directly impact your child’s safety while they’re with your ex. If the answer is no, then the past shouldn’t come up in the child custody negotiations. 

Going through mediation to come up with the terms of your parenting plan can be a challenging experience. Focus on what’s best for the children right now and set the terms according to that. You have the option of modifying the plan in the future if your child’s needs change.