Child custody is the most contentious issue in many divorces. Each parent tends to have their own opinion as to the best way to raise their child, which can vastly differ from the opinions held by the other parent. This can set the stage for a custody battle that’s riddled with personal attacks and stubbornness.
All too often this results in the matter having to be litigated in court in front of a judge who doesn’t know you and your family. You don’t want to leave your child’s future in the hands of someone who doesn’t understand the nuances of your child’s needs.
Fortunately, in many cases there are ways to amicably get through your custody dispute. This not only reduces your immediate tension and stress, but it also sets your child up for a more beneficial arrangement with both parents. Remember, your child’s best interests should be at the forefront of your custody considerations, so finding a positive and amicable resolution should be your ultimate goal.
But how can you find a peaceful way to resolve your child custody dispute?
Even if it doesn’t seem possible now, there may be ways to amicably get through your child custody dispute. This includes doing each of the following:
- Remaining respectful: It’s easy to get wrapped up in personal attacks during a custody dispute. But pointing out the other parent’s character flaws will only throw up obstacles to finding peaceful resolution. Even if you disagree with the other parent, find ways to let them know that you respect them and their opinion, and consider ways to implement issues that are important to them into your custody arrangement.
- Being flexible: Being unmovable in your position when it comes to scheduling visitation and holidays is going to lead to tension. You certainly don’t want to be a pushover on these matters, but you also don’t want to be so staunch in your position that you create conflict and tension where it isn’t warranted. So, try to be as flexible as possible so that you can find mutually agreeable resolution.
- Always focusing on best interests: Remember, your child’s best interests are paramount. So, when you start to sense tension building, revert the conversation back to what’s best for your child. There are probably several areas here where you and the other parent agree, which can lay the foundation for a successful custody arrangement.
- Reducing everything to writing: A lot of arguments related to custody disputes arise when there’s misunderstanding and miscommunication. You can reduce the risk of this occurring by documenting your conversations with the other parent. You can even read to the other parent what you’ve written down to gain consensus on what was just discussed and decided. Then, when you need to revisit the issue, you can do so quickly and with accuracy. This can reduce tension and lead to better understanding among the parties.
Consider mediation or collaborative divorce to resolve your custody dispute
Despite what the media might have you believe, your divorce and child custody dispute doesn’t have to be riddled with contention. Instead, you can utilize alternative dispute resolution processes, like mediation or collaborative law, to find common ground and mutually agreeable resolution. This can set the stage for stronger post-divorce relationships, which will be more beneficial for your child.